Never Give Up

Therefore, brothers, since we have boldness to enter the sanctuary through the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way He has opened for us through the curtain( that is, His flesh) and since we have a great high priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed in pure water. Let us hold to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works, not staying away from our worship meetings, as some habitually do, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day drawing near. Hebrews 10:19-25)

Holding on to the confession of our hope can be severely challenged at times.
I have a sale pending a signature from a client, it is a substantial sale and one that has dragged on for almost 12 months with various developments. Trying to get that one signature has proven very difficult, yet I know that it is right and I can see it all done. Not being able to make this happen has had me pray, " lord what am I doing wrong?" He has not shown me any wrong and I have done everything that I know to do. Meanwhile I am hit by a car and unable to work a full day as I had previously but the bills keep coming and the clients still want service.
People know my dilemma but there are walls of silence and expectations. 

At times the world feels very cold and The Lord is very silent. I know this is a test but want to be sure I have done the study so that I can pass. More than anything I know I want to pass. I want the future He has for me, not one I devise or the enemy walls me into.

My days are shorter as the pain causes me to tire and I find myself forgetful at times, more so than usual. Yet I know that I can pass through this and be a stronger warrior for the test. I am learning not to give up on friends who seem distant, to hang in there on church and my community even though I have to be taken everywhere. Hanging in there is important and so is prayer. I was awake at 4:30am today and spent time in prayer.  Praise of my God and intercession for others does me good.

I needed a signature from an authority today and although I has struggled to get to that person she looked at me and said, 'I can't see where I should sign this' and would not sign as a witness, even though the form stated she was able. I left feeling like a pretender and hated the experience. 

This is how the people I help feel when dealing with insurance claims. The whole process is very demoralising.

The worst part of this experience is doing it alone, not having someone like me to help. Being asked for three years worth of bank statements took the cake. While I am trying to put all this together, go to physio, work and train new staff all on 5 hours of clarity, not good. However, in this I am more than a conqueror, irregardless of how I feel or think. There's the challenge! Praise God!

Sorry for the ramble. Perhaps it helps to
know I am human. 

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